How Did my Faith Grow Stronger When I Could Have Become Bitter?
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Sarah P Duke Gardens
Peace
In the wake of losing my husband and the father of my little girls, I was blessed with the peace that passes understanding. Surrounded by emotional and financial mayhem, I was given an extraordinary peace that gave me hope. When you are in the middle of an ordeal and have license to be angry, bitter, anxious, and fearful; peace is beautiful and essential.
I have had this scripture verse taped to my mirror for more than seven years.
“Trust in the Lord with all your heart and lean not on your own understanding; in all your ways acknowledge him, and he will make your paths straight. ”
I made the decision to lean not on my own understanding and I was blessed with peace. I recommit to it daily.
“Do not be anxious about anything, but in everything, by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving, present your requests to God. And the peace of God, which transcends all understanding, will guard your hearts and minds in Christ Jesus.”
I lived that. I live that.
May 4, 2008 Sarah P Duke Gardens. Photo credit to Neil Boyd Photography
Weakness, Gratitude, and Rejoicing
Gratitude is always necessary. It is challenging to have gratitude and to rejoice when confronted with problems, but it is possible. If I know it is possible, I have hope. So, I pray that my heart receives and embraces these promises.
“Consider it pure joy, my brothers and sisters whenever we face trials of many kinds because you know that the testing of your faith produces perseverance. Let perseverance finish its work so that you may be mature and complete not lacking anything. ”
Photo credit to Neil Boyd Photography
“I know what it is to be in need, and I know what it is to have plenty. I have learned the secret of being content in any and every situation, whether well fed or hungry, whether living in plenty or in want. I can do everything through him who gives me strength. ”
Visiting Sarah P Duke Gardens with my girls in 2017. preparation for Upcoming wedding -tent up gave my girls a better idea of what was
“But he said to me, “My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness.” Therefore I will boast all the more gladly about my weaknesses, so that Christ’s power may rest on me. That is why, for Christ’s sake, I delight in my weaknesses in insults, in hardships, in persecutions, in difficulties. For when I am weak, then I am strong. ”
Photo credit to Neil Boyd Photography
“Rejoice always, pray continually, give thanks in all circumstances; for this is God’s will for you in Christ Jesus ”
“I have told you these things, so that in me you may have peace. In this world you will have trouble. But take heart! I have overcome the world ”
My progress is not linear. I get in my own way all the time. I am constantly reminding myself to get out of the way and let God. It is quite unbelievable, really. I literally must remind myself every day of God’s mercy and grace.
I am analytical. I have had to reassign my analysis to studying God’s promises and truths. I seek God with utmost urgency and intention. The peace that I have as a result reassures me.
I desire for my life to be a testament of God’s grace. It is less about what I have done and more about what God has done through me and my unique gifts.
The last post I wrote was nearly two years ago. I have been grieving, slaying giants, raising champions, and growing in faith.